Forgive and forget?

I spent so many years being the forgotten one that I am having a hard time adjusting to the fact that family is now actively seeking out my company, advice and support. I excel at sitting on the outside, silently criticizing those around me. The recent barrage of phone calls, emails and social gatherings is making it hard for me to maintain that position. The problem is, I don’t know how to be a good, supportive, and loving family member. I was written off at such a young age, that I never learned to "play well with others", and show the love and kindness that so many now need. For every phone call or email I receive, I can think of ten of mine that went unanswered. They may have forgotten, or maybe never understood, the destruction their distanced caused me, but I, realizing the power I now hold, am finding it hard to forgive.