Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Tomorrow is a new day

I see fear in the face staring back at me, and realize that I am solely responsible for the pain, destruction and despair. Through the years, I have stripping him of everything he once held dear, and allowed him to lose his way. Like all great destroyers, I stroked his insecurities, massaged his anger, and goaded him into a sense of inadequacy. It isn’t fair. For as long as I can remember, he has been everything I have ever asked; but I neglect, abuse and take out my daily struggles on his psyche. In this moment, I see him pulling back, becoming more and more hesitant to keep my head above the fray. Twice in the past three days I have been chastised for my treatment of this lonely soul, scolded for bottling him up, and questioned for my refusal to stop this vicious lifelong cycle. I know what I must do, but lack the strength to forge this road alone, and he knows this. “Today will be the last time” I finally say aloud; but he knows me, and sheds one solitary tear as I turn off the light and back, ever so slowly, away from the mirror.

2 comments:

paisley said...

i see myself so much in these words.. and were it within my power to offer any guidance,, i assure you i would...

how is it that some of us remain our own worst enemies... even when we know it to be the case???? it escapes me......

Madam Z said...

Be good to him, dear. He will be your best friend, if you stop being his worst enemy.

You both write beautifully.