Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Hello?
It appears that my absence no longer commands the same sense of longing that it once did. Instead, I have become a roadblock in the busyness of the everyday. This is a drastic shift. When I first left, there were a lot of sweet gestures, greedy to talk phone calls, and loving emails. Now, without my occasional attention grabbing outbursts, I fade into insignificancy, left to hang my heart on a few meaningless, end-of-the-night phone calls. I need something to save me here. I live a life of nothingness. Wake-up, eat, work, run, repeat – do you think that this is fun? I know you are busy, but I am tired, sober and lonely and I may be asking a lot, but please. . . .
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2 comments:
My dear friend,
There are atleast three (if not more) folks who miss you much, especially on friday eves, or inbetween lines of not-so-catchy-songs, or most in an empty apartment..You must know that-the fact that one bought the Bleeding Hearts and the other wears it, and One feels it the most- surely that suffices?
i can offer you the thing that gets me through most days, something i've said to a mutual 'friend', bee, when we discussed this black maw...
hope.
hope is a trojan horse. i open that bastard every day.. it lures me with it's spangles and it's bright lights and it's "come on, take a chance!" and sometimes, i'm blown away by the nothingness inside.
and sometimes, the universe is there.
we keep opening it because it is so damn pretty.
never stop.
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