Sunday, June 15, 2008
Scared into hiding
I tell people I am neurotic about my personal information because I do not want to be found. The truth is, I long to be discovered by those I abandoned. To be told that my absence is noticed, that my sins can be forgiven. At this point, even a scathing email would be a welcome relief, as it would confirm that my presence meant something. Putting the excuses aside, the fear that no one is looking is the real reason I mask my identity. For the thought that I have been erased—by my own doing—sickens me to no end.
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4 comments:
i am the queen of disappearing,, never to be heard from again.. i don't know that i am ever wanting to be found tho,, i think i am just rewriting myself,, and it is important not to leave a trail of crumbs behind me.....
Jesus. I could have written this.
'Takes a lot to blow me away.
I'm offically blown.
funny.
not funny haha, funny strange. i was thinking about you today...yes, you. i wondered how to send an email or any details...
as long as you leave your fingerprints here, you aren't gone nor forgotten.
I have felt this way. Then I did the searching ~ people move on, forget, grow as human beings. They didn't look at the things that had happened as being as big of a deal I had made them into for myself. Take a leap of courage, faith, and search them out. If nothing becomes of it, at least you put the wonder to rest, and can live without that shadow. :)
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