Decisions

My career path has gone in a direction that would offend most in my profession. I started out on top, nabbing what I, and many of those around me, considered to be a life altering position at a very prestigious outfit. After three years of constant abuse, I bolted and took a job at a less reputable company with the expectation of permanence. Unfortunately, smaller stature did not equate with a better life, so I cut bait after a year and took a term post on this island that was necessarily limited to two years. As that time quickly dwindles, I am now faced with a decision that will affect the rest of my life. I am no longer the young, energetic, workaholic I once was and am now unwilling to sacrifice my future wellbeing for another’s bottom line. The problem is, I have no clue what that step should be. As I confront this problem, I realize that everything I find interesting in life renders my six figure education—which I am still paying for—useless. The rational side of me says that I should give it another go and continue to try and prove to myself, and those around me, that I did not make a mistake in going down this road and that I still have something to offer to the world through my institutional instilled knowledge; but the irrational side of me sees this as an opportunity to break free from the daily grind and finally do all the things I talk about, but never have the courage to undertake. I have a restaurant to open, a clothing store to look after, an adventure company to run, a world to travel, and a very bad book to write. This time though, unlike the others, the fear of continuing to do what is comfortable, for no other reason than that is what I am trained to do, scares me more than striking out on my own and failing miserably.